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‘SNL’ Cold Open: Fired Kristi Noem Turns In Her Gun, Badge, Lips, and Lashes

SNL Skewers Fired DHS Secretary Kristi Noem in Satirical Goodbye

On a recent episode of Saturday Night Live, a sketch depicted former Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem delivering a farewell address that blended real controversies with absurdist humor, highlighting the fallout from her abrupt dismissal by President Donald Trump.

The Firing and the “Self-Deportation” Joke

The sketch, played by actress Ashley Padilla, opened with a mock introduction from “Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth” (portrayed by Colin Jost), who quipped Noem had been “reassigned — under the bus.” This directly references her actual firing on March 19, 2025, following a series of damaging controversies [1].

Padilla’s Noem delivered a parody of her real statements, claiming, “I just want to make it clear that I didn’t get fired — I self-deported.” This line satirizes the political messaging often used by the Trump administration to frame departures.

Allusions to Real Controversies

The sketch nodded to a reported factor in her dismissal: her testimony to Congress that President Trump had approved a $220 million Department of Homeland Security advertising campaign in which she was the central figure [2]. This campaign, which promoted Trump’s border policies, faced intense scrutiny over its cost and Noem’s prominent, taxpayer-funded visibility.

The parody then referenced two major, factual controversies from Noem’s tenure. The first was the January 2025 incident in Minneapolis where federal agents shot and killed two men during an immigration enforcement operation. Noem subsequently made false public statements claiming the men were “domestic terrorists” with gang affiliations, claims that were widely debunked by local law enforcement and fact-checkers [3]. In the sketch, she twisted this into a dark joke: “Like they say: you miss 100 percent of the dogs you don’t shoot,” a callback to her widely criticized 2024 memoir detailing the shooting of her family’s puppy.

The second reference was to an ethics scandal involving an alleged affair with former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski, which was reported by multiple outlets and contributed to the turmoil surrounding her tenure [4]. The sketch’s line, “And by ‘it,’ I mean my married co-worker, in a big, beautiful flying bedroom 30,000 feet over Minneapolis,” directly parodies those reports.

Satirical Farewell and Mock New Role

In the character’s closing, she listed items to “turn in”—”badge, gun, lips, lashes, teeth, and forehead”—a humorous exaggeration of a typical government exit, poking fun at her public image and the cosmetic procedures she has been rumored to have had.

The sketch concluded with her announcing a new, fictional role: “Special Envoy to the Shield of the Americas.” She joked about having an office “in a WeWork space outside Denver,” a satirical jab at the sometimes vague or diminished roles given to ousted political figures. This position does not exist within the U.S. State Department’s structure [5].

The SNL segment serves as a cultural reflection, using satire to process and critique the real, documented events of Noem’s short, scandal-plagued tenure leading the nation’s third-largest cabinet department. It underscores how political figures and their controversies become fodder for national parody, distilling complex ethical and policy failures into sharp, memorable punchlines for a broad audience.


References:
[1] Multiple news outlets, including The New York Times and Reuters, reported on the circumstances of Noem’s firing in March 2025.
[2] Reporting on the $220 million DHS ad campaign and Noem’s testimony can be found in publications like The Washington Post and Axios.
[3] The Minneapolis shooting and Noem’s subsequent false claims were documented by the Star Tribune and fact-checking organizations like AP Fact Check.
[4] Reports on the alleged affair with Corey Lewandowski were published by The Daily Beast and Politico.
[5] The U.S. Department of State’s official list of special envoys and representatives does not include a “Special Envoy to the Shield of the Americas.”

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